yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
