you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Mom said you looked used
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize