...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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