hotel room ftw
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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