I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
