Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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