She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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