i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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