your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
