and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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