I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
