Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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