i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
honey bunches of taint.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I fill condoms, not promises.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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