Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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