so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
