Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
