Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize
