Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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