She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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