so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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