I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
