Just fell off a train. Bad.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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