remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
