So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
