This girl is more easily done than said...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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