I like to think it a success when the cops are called
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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