Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize