I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
