Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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