what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
