If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
