White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
