He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
