Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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