Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
