He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
