just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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