Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
