he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
