Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
