I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We smell like vodka and hangover
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
