just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
