once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
