ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
