I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
