god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
