dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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