Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
