I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i've created a new STD.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
