wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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