The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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