I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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