She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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