She said her name was "party"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You took a bar mat shot.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
