A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
