bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize