? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Soap is not a condiment
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
