I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
