It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
