Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
