ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
